Monday, 27 October 2014

Genius, the ∞ capacity for pain takings.

"Genius . . . means the transcendent capacity of taking trouble."
- Thomas Carlyle <Federick the Great>

Be honest I have never read that book. I got the quote from <A study in Scarlet>, the very first Sherlock Holmes Adventure by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Holmes was saying the definition of genius being able to take pains infinitely (my interpretation: don't feel the pain at all, in the first place) was a very loose fact, but he believe it was true for detective work. My take on that is that the term genius, initially, is a term made by people probably out of exclamation and astonishment. It is not something proven scientifically that has a scientific and universal definition such as the word: amygdala. Thus since it is born of a sentimental origin then don't expect it to come out as a technical form.

Anyway recently I have been thinking about this statement made in 19th century. The more I dwell on it the truer is seems to me. 

What is a genius? Sometime who can accomplish tasks that are exceptionally difficult, usually viewed as impossible. Someone with an abnormal high intelligence which enables them to absorb information at a faster and deeper level. So far these are my impressions of geniuses. Or maybe someone born with exceptional powers, like an extreme sensitive brain to numbers but that I take it to the first category. 

Then the question probes further: what exactly makes them geniuses? Genes? Genetics is no doubt an appalling issue which I blatantly expressed in many occasions, and if something is achieved by genetic lottery there's basically nothing to explore as individuals (not unless you want to bring the whole family tree in). If not only genes, then hardwork? That's very plausible and carefully I should observe, more acceptable. What else? Attitude? Important one, the most important one. 

Assuming all of these are true( more than 90% I'm certain they are true), there has to be a sum-up factor. People might say a single statement is biased and sometimes not accurate. Nope the simpler statements are not only accurate but also concise and beautiful. Albert Einstein once said, "If you can't explain it to a six year old, you don't understand it yourself." 

Since the title and the first sentence of this post contain the theme so I'm not going to beat bush at any corners but just reveal that genius is simply someone who can take pains infinitely. 

There people fundamental differences among people and that sadly, meaning the brain structures of everyone is different. Area that associate with emotions and pains - amygdala, is structurally (genetically) different for everyone. When the generic word 'different' is used, I mean the extent of modulating emotions; the speed of decoding information and the rate of neural firing. All of which made us fundamentally different when we are assessing our situation and problems.

Hardwork is easy to explain. The harder you work the better you are. A few years ago I would say this is not necessarily true but now I affirm that it is absolutely true . If you are not getting what you want after an intensive so-called hard work, it's either you're barking up the wrong tree or you are simply not working hard enough. The former is easy to see but hard to resolve, old habits die hard; the latter is hard to see and hard to resolve. People often assume they are working really hard but more often when you compare your process with others', you will normally see a difference and sometimes a stark difference. Unfortunaly people always compare results, hardly processes. Hardwork is pain, level of endurance varies. Masochists are lucky in this case.

Attitude is straightforward to see as well. When I say it's the most important one I mean not that it is the biggest factor out of all three but an important concept for those of us (no genius genes and not masochists) to grasp. Attitude determines the way you look at the problem. You want to be a musician, a composer and in order for you to achieve that you have to learn an instrument. Practicing the instrument on a daily basis for at least 4 hours is exhausting and tedious, or even technically speaking, dull. Yet you will do it, simply you don't view it as a chore. You like the feeling immersing yourself in rhythm and notes. You taste the improvements and small milestones. That sensation of exalting musically to next level is indescribable. Therefore you don't feel the exhaust so vividly, you don't mind the tediousness and of course you don't feel bored.

Look here mates, we couldn't change our genes and the willingness to work hard depends partially on genes as well. Hence the only thing we can fully have the control of is our attitudes. The brain is powerful ( that's a ridiculous understatement by the way) and by commanding the brain to adopt a certain attitude is possible, this pushes us nearer to genius state. Needless to say commanding your brain is not easy, possible not very probable, but that's the only thing you need to do. You only need to focus on changing the attitude given by it and rest will follow. That's why it is the most important concept, simple and powerful.

On a side note, masochists does not equal to geniuses. The former likes the pain, the latter doesn't even feel the pain.

It is rare of me writing inspirational stuff like this, that is to say if you consider what I've written is inspirational. Yet I think it is of paramount importance to let people know. The world undoubtedly represents misery, wrapped in entertaining distractions. However all of these were in our minds, we see them as entertainments. Strike the brain and the world will change, for your sake.

Wednesday, 8 October 2014

Let's talk about the end.

We all know that one day we will die. It is a matter how we die. Guess majority of us hope our deaths will be a less painful and peaceful one. But the thing is, we will die. We will lose the life in our body. Our brains will stop functioning, our blood will stop circulating, our always-on nerves will stop dashing about. Everything about us will come to a standstill. Our voices will never be heard again, no matter how hard our loved ones cry over us. Our face will not be lighting up again. Our minds, our attitudes, our potentials will never be discovered deeper again.

Regardless how peaceful death may be, the end is the end. No running way of it, this I'm sure.

I experienced death today. In the afternoon I had a severe pain in the lower part of my legs. The pain was life that of calcium-deficient but in a much more intensified manner. I was groaning a bit and a tad confused - certainly I don't have to grow anymore so why this calcium-deficient kind of pain? Due to a test coming up anon I didn't give it too much attention.

After the test, on my way walking back to my accommodation, the pain was back. Or it had always been there and it was just a matter of me noticing. It was so severe and excruciating I couldn't even walk properly or stand any longer. But it was just annoyance been ground out of it, still I didn't give much thoughts. 

Upon reaching home I received Mama's call. She asked how my day was and how the test was. While replying I felt a sudden amplified sore in my legs, thus naturally I talked to her about the pain. What a 'mistake' it was! Mama worried, using her particular straining and dragging voice to remind me taking care of myself.

It was only after I hung up I then realized it might be a problem more than just normal rigid muscle pain. The paranoid-ness in me stared working. I recalled about terminal stage of bone cancer... Then an inevitable wave of fear swept over me, followed by that was a tsunami of grief. Goodness grief.

I cried. Cried and cried. Tears soon pooled on the desk. 

Cancer! Terminal stage! What might become of me! A painful death! Oh really! Why! Why me! Becau of all the hatred I had in me! How about my future! How about my mama! She love me so much and it will kill  her to know that I'm dying! No! God I repent! No, not working now it's bit too late. God I....

The prayer was cut off by myself, my so-called sanity. If it is designed by Him, there's no way to escape it. Sat crestfallen in my chair, face crimson with fear and anxiety, I googled my problem. None of the search results suggests cancer, but a number of them talk about blood clots which can be dangerous as well. Apparently if the problem persists go see a doctor to get some medication.

Really, in just a few seconds time my brain seemed to function normally again. Well it seemed to do so, because when I proceeded to the bathroom I thought of death again. Blood clot is probable since I love to exert pressure to my legs while studying but cancer is possible as well. 

Then I thought to myself if, I was really struck with bone cancer at terminal stage, how was I going to live my remaining life? Continue being an arrogant and rude arsehole to bring my type of justice to the world? That was the original answer to the question of 'what will you do if today is your last day?' But now I don't tend to answer the question with that answer. Strangely I thought of love.

I thought of spreading love and being forgiving. When I see someone who doesn't dress cleanly I won't shun them but understand them. When I see people rushing towards a bus without queuing I won't detest them but try to fathom and pray for them. When I see people giving birth to many children I won't despise them as mere animals, but just admiring their endurance of pain. 

No it's not saying my values are reverted or distorted but it is to say I take a step back and try to see the story behind. I will still judge, this is unconscious thus I cannot control, but I will not express my adversity to such bare extent. When things are too bare, it hurts a bit too much.

Thank God for changing me. You know, cancer is possible. Let's end this post by my self-composed poem:

Death, a sting.
Yet the impending of it a queer thing.
The pain arouses you,
An arousal serves as pivot
That to another direction we turn to.

I thank thee,
For the pain inflicted on me.
This is an analogy,
To a future's mystery.

A mystery indeed!
We know what the end is,
But not how we will come to be.

For many a time I thought love is redundant,
Now I see my love was never even sufficient.

I pray.

- <Calling to You.>